Friday, March 23, 2007

Coffee, duck pancakes and politics...

Last night saw me take my first tentative steps into politics. I attended my first ever local Conservative party meeting where my eyes were opened to a whole new world of politics.

Most of us grow somewhat weary of spin and manipulation from any of the 'big three' but down on the front line, there are some real issues which are being fought over.

Local politics centres around local issues and as I saw yesterday, there's no shortage of things to discuss, debate and hopefully change.

In my hometown of Wigan, a certain species of duck has sought sojurn. The 'Ruddy' duck (yes, thats its real name, not the wigan version!) has flown in and has ruffled a few feathers at local council level to say the least.

It seems that this poor, unassuming bird has a soft spot for any other female ducks in the vicinity and as such, some have requested the birds to be culled. Now you may think this sounds qwackers (sorry!) but according to some, this poor lowly bird is linked directly to the conflict in Iraq.

Yes, some claim that the Spanish government have requested this cull to take place as it was part of the deal which would see them support the Iraqi invasion. It would seem that the 'Ruddies' stop off here before flying on to Spain. They really do have a 'bird' in every port and the Spanish authorities looked over to us here for help.

Now personally I don't think this would be a deal breaker for me, I'm not sure that I'd support mass troop deployment at the ducks expense but I have also heard that this issue has also dragged in our very own MI5 and MI6 (James Pond maybe? License to Bill?)

A discussion about all of this took up most of a recent council meeting as it would appear that the councillors have to sign an order to allow the DEFRA sharpsooters onto the Wigan land in order to take out the 'randy Ruddies', restore balance in European politics and bring peace to the middle east. If only life was THAT simple eh!

Apparently DEFRA can deploy their WMD in a mere 45 minutes. Oh and that's Weapons of Mallard Destruction... What a start to my political journey! At the end of the meeting, I was asked would I be back... With tales like this... You bet!